April Twenty-Second of Twenty Twelve

School is getting really hard.

It's not that the learning is difficult, but more psychological than that. I just cannot keep up. I could, if I didn't procrastinate so much. Example: Last week, the first draft of my twenty-page final was due. It's still not done.
I just can't convince myself to make good choices. This is another example. I haven't blogged in forever, yet here I am, doing it just to say that I am PROCRASTINATING.
-Tomorrow, I have my twenty-page paper due.
-I also have a less than twenty minute extensive presentation (with formal dress) of that presentation due.
-I have an essay due on Tuesday and I don't have any of the materials to write it.
-I have a major test Tuesday as well, and I haven't filled out the study guide.
-On Wednesday my art project, with artist's statement is due: the artist's statement is (luckily) the only part not done.
-Thursday, luckily, nothing is really due.
-Friday I have another test.
GOD, WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING NOW? Because it's the end of the school year. When I came back to school today, I looked my mom in the face and said, "I'm glad that this is one of the last weekends I'll have to say goodbye."
I am so giddy to be going home. Every time I leave, I want to cry. Every goodbye brings tears to my eyes. I barely got a chance to say goodbye to my fiancé.

But, this is my final procrastination. I don't care how many restless, caffeinated nights I have to go through, I am going to get EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING done. Everything. My school, my future, my hopes and dreams and aspirations, all ride on me being able to man the fuck up. And I'm going to do it.

So, goodbye, internet. I must say farewell, because finals are in eight days, and I've already watched every episode of "Southpark," "Family Guy," "American Dad," "Futurama," "How I Met Your Mother," "Clannad," and "Spongebob Squarepants." It's time to get shit done.

'forty dollars brings a friend,
a lover, if you may.
his family knows me more,
than mine would any day.
I call to him with timid heart,
for if he goes astray,
my heart will be a broken thing,
my life will be in disarray.'