It's starting to make me sick how much I cry. It happened on the sixth; it happened today; I just come home and cry. Of course, to anyone who just reads my blog, it would be no surprise that I was crying. (I tend to blog before/in tears-or, at least, when I'm feeling passionate).
Anyways, my point is that I'm mad. Mainly, at myself. For making such a big deal out of something they probably don't mean. They don't want to make me cry. I'm sure it was neither of their intentions. I mean, come on, they're boys. They address each other in harsh mannerisms and never dent each others' self-esteem. It's pretty incredible when you think about it. I guess somethings just hit them differently. Like, if you told a girl she was loose, she'd be like, "Uh, whatever. You're a loser." If you told a guy he was small...That's a whole other matter. Just like girls/guys when it comes to the wold 'ugly'. That was all it took to send me spirally into tears, ruin my night, and question any good I had ever seen in myself. It took my boyfriend to pull me out of that one. But guys hate on each other without a second glance.
Genders are just different. My mood just totally flipped. I was watching this video and thinking about this website and I got to thinking about Common Ground today.
:And then this I remember why I'm so happy with my life. Because of these guys. They actually care about me.
Why are the tears still here?
Serious guilt trip.
It's always my fault.
'Deny, deny,
water on the lake.
The ripples fall from the sidelines-
Broken. past.
Guilt.'
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