June the Twenty-Ninth of Two Thousand and Ten

It wasn't hard for me to sleep on my feelings. Actually, the best rest I've had in about a month was a product of last night. Was there anything different in what I consumed or what I did? No, but I did release my feelings, stop holding in so much guilt. As such, I could sleep. I told you that it was your fault.

By the time I awoke, I realized what my decision was. I knew what I was going to do or, at least, how it would be done. Or did I? I have a strange desire to do something a little more interesting-a sort of personal challenge really. Maybe that's just me trying to prove my diginity. Nevertheless, I crave trying out this new phenomenon; it certainly would be a change. And world, you should know that I do love change.

However, I will not be rash. My little Virgo girl would just melt into a puddle and slink out of my brain (which I'm surprised she hasn't done already), if I were to just act on impulse. Now, if you think this is impulsive, you are quite incorrect. I am waiting it out, mainly to see how things play out. If I could, I would wait a few months or so before making a decision, but unfortunately, I do not possess that kind of time. I'm going to weigh all the possibilites here, as I have before, until I can reach a logical decision.

I really want to prove to you that I'm not some lowlife. Because, as I finally said today, that's how you're making me feel. That as soon as I feel one way, I just become exactly how you've described me-practically a streetwalker. But I'm not, honest to God. I am a good person, and sometimes I make stupid decisions and I know I take advantage of what I have, but God! Don't you know that I've made this decision about five times and in all of them, except for one, have I made the right choice! Why do you undermine me so? Is there something I've done? I'm not helpless; I can do better than you make me out to be able to. I have much more willpower than I've shown.

All in all, I'm waiting until tomorrow to make a final decision. I need my notes from a while back, reminding me why I made my previous choices. They will help me decide whether or not whatever I'm doing will be successful. Don't worry, it's in your favor. :3

I follow you,
around the sun and back.
We start and continue,
rotating around happiness.
If I get lost in the dark,
I go my own way,
and then I find you.
My sunshine,
we are far away,
but never apart.