Twenty-Four Rugpjūtis of Twenty Eleven

"Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne. I've really been on an Avril kick this morning. I love how heartbroken some of her songs are.

I'm not sure if I'm heartbroken or homesick, but either way, I want to go home. I don't want to be in college. I want to sleep in my own bed...Maybe I just want to be with him. All of a sudden there's this revelation that if I had stayed, I could still have a chance. All of this loss I'm feeling wouldn't exist. Every thought I'm trying to deny wouldn't have to be hidden.

However, the reality of it all is slowly knocking me down. It's building like the tide. You know how you stand on the edge of the ocean and the waves slowly push against you. Every one of those tiny waves just pushing at you, wearing away your resistance and your hopes to push through. I'm falling to the ocean. I've got my nose above the water and I'm gasping for air. Hopefully I'm going to be able to sit up against the ocean soon.

I remember long ago I made a metaphor about how being on a relationship was like being on a hill. You stood on a large grassy hill, overlooking a city, and more specifically a street having construction done. When relationships are falling apart, the couple walks into the city. And when people break up, one pushes the other into a pile of dirt near the construction zone. Heartbreak is kind of like dirt in the sense that once it happens, it's everywhere. Dirt is literally on your clothes, in your hair, in your mouth. Heartbreak is in your coffee, scattered in your brain, in the music you hear. Dirt and heartbreak are everywhere and won't go away; even if you scrub and clean or move forward with your life, there will always be a remnant. Something that you can't get rid of. And when you get over that heart break, you pick yourself up out of the dirt and brush yourself off. If you're lucky, someone else might walk along and help, another other. If not, well, you do it your god damn self. You walk away from the dirt, and brush yourself off. That's what happens. You move forward and end up okay.

'They headed to the fields for harvest,
the sweet crop was ripe for picking,
juicy and delicious was their crop.
Mouths watered as they pulled the red berries from the vines,
felt their plump fruit in their hands,
and smelt the tempting satisfaction they had worked for.'

"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne