Normally, I begin my blogs with some sort of introductory paragraph, telling you how I'm feeling and what my blog will be about. It's odd that I've been doing this instinctively instead of purposefully drafting my blogs into a useful paragraph. Only recently has my school-trained mind noticed that I've been doing this.
It was really hard to leave home. I went and did my rounds, saying goodbye to Sproggy, then Moo, then Simba, and then Mittens. I was making it through fine, but I was sitting there, rubbing Mittens' paw, and I just lost it. I cried and cried and cried. I walked to the car in tears and I even had to go back and grab a stuff animal to hold while we drove away. I really didn't want to let go of it. That was my house; I had so many memories there. I grew up there. I loved and lost. I got hit and I was loved. That was my home, and I had to leave it behind. (A little over-dramatic since I'll be back in thirteen days).
After that, leaving wasn't so bad. Moving in was a BITCH and the room was a lot different than I expected, but it's good. I kind of like having a place to myself, although I really don't mind having people around too. I was so grateful to have my family come and help me move in; there was so much stuff and they were eager to help me. My brother and mother stayed over night on Friday and we caught lunch together Saturday and bought some finally things (like shelves for my fridge and microwave).
To tell the truth I am getting kind of lonely. It's weird because I, as I expected, people are awkward and difficult to talk to, but it's even more challenging because you can talk to a girl for fifteen minutes, but she can run off like the little slut she is in an instant. (Man, that girl REALLY wasn't my type). I'm hoping that actual classes (which start tomorrow OMG) will make it easier to have real friends. I've been in social situations for two days now and I can say that I MIGHT have gained a couple friends today. But yesterday was AWFUL. I went to a big party hosted by the school that was made so people could learn where things were on campus and get to know each other. I was alone 97% of the hour I was there and miserable, basically, the entire time. The thing is not that I'm particularly shy (I've actually been quite outgoing when it comes to talking to people, and groups, in college), but more of that everyone who was there seemed to be with someone else. There weren't any loners I could reach out to. It was groups, couples, and roommates. So, I was the forever alone meme that night. Walking home was probably the worst part of it though, because I desperately tried to call him, tried to text him, and I got no response. I was lonely, and I wanted to his wonderful voice so I could feel better. But he wasn't there.
This morning I got up at seven and made myself breakfast (I had cinnamon toast crunch with bananas) and I watched Southpark. Then, at around eight forty when I was all done doing stereotypical "morning things," I went and found all my buildings on campus. I still feel a little lost when it comes to where most my classes are (mostly because I couldn't open the building and find out), but I'm SUPER excited for school to start tomorrow. Although, I am absolutely terrified of the work that's going to get piled on. Everyone's heard the rumors, I mean, we know how college works. And I get to be one of those crazy medical students that's questing for A's, so that will be fun.
Okay, internet, wanna hear something embarrassing? This is something I really don't like to talk about and it's making me uncomfortable thinking about it, but I suppose it's a very natural thing and it happens, so whatever. Let me start by saying that I hate public restrooms. I hate everything about them. I never used school toilets for "number two" and I think that adjusting to any apartment or room involves the acceptance of using the loo. So. Yesterday, I couldn't procrastinate the fate that comes with eating. And OF COURSE something goes wrong. I don't want to explain what, but it really embarrassed me and it just sucked a lot. But, I suppose that's how life will be.
Alright, I'm off to eat; bye, internet!
'Tiny noodles fill my head
with schoolwork and acceptance.
Friendships or sexships?
Head and engagement in the next room.
Cover songs with techno fill my head and I just love it'
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