October the Twenty-Fourth of Two Thousand and Ten

Day One with Six Days and Eight Days:

I don't want to remember what was happening last year on this night. All those happy memories. It's not easy to think back on those times and smile, thinking, 'That was a good day.' I'm sorry, but it will never be like that again. I remember us sitting against the wall, listening to heavy metal, leaning against each other's bodies...It makes me want to vomit. Because it was so pretty. And now, it feels dirty. Even those cornfield moments, I don't know what to think. You ran from me, but you kissed me too. My heart beat fast.

Smiling. That wasn't my idea of what I'd be doing today when I woke up. I felt the end coming. I dragged myself around the house and tried to stay active. Every time something would happen, I would cry. CRY. Over absolutely nothing. Like, I went outside and asked my parents if I could have cinnamon roll and some fruit. My mom said, "Of course." I walk to the kitchen and before I can even eat, I start crying. Sobbing. I don't even know. My parents kept bothering me about the dishes. I knew I had to do them, accept the responsibility, but it kept tearing me apart. I sobbed for hours and hours, without anyone asking. I didn't know what was wrong, why I was so upset, and the frustrating thing is that I still don't.

Our conversations always make my day. They always make me smile and get me thinking. Don't fade away. I really love it. I will always thank you. I will always appreciate who you are. Try not to change. I will always try to be there for you, even in the toughest of times. And I love to listen to you rant.

'Without the sun,
the Earth doesn't live.
Without the moon,
Earth knows know beauty.
Without love,
the heart goes on.
Without air,
there is no heart.'